Newton’s First Law

An object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by another force.

Anyone else compare their life to basic physics? Guess that’s the ‘daughter of a physics teacher’ in me. I am a proud work-a-holic. I’m not sure when I decided this path was the right path, but I have followed it with full force. I am an object in motion. I planned every hour of the day in order to accomplish two very big, very important things to me. I check all the boxes with training and with medical school and I get the job done. I go, go, go and then go, go, go some more. But what happens when I get a break?

Well, for one, I finally realized: I was T I R E D .

The world needed to shut down for me to realize that I needed to shut down for a bit. Being busy is my favorite pastime and as my dad would tell me – I am a lot more annoying when I am no longer busy. But as I’ve been grappling with this comfort amongst the chaos and what it means, I came to realize I enjoy the hoopla … because silence is deafening to me. Sitting still is torture. Simply feeling my emotions is so uncomfortable that I’d rather jam-pack my day with anything than to feel. The doing is easy but the feeling is … stupid and I don’t have time for it. But that’s a very vulnerable topic to unpack on a different day and time. I cannot say for certain if the freedom of my own schedule led to any less ‘busy’ time or even any more self-reflection, but I could at least schedule my whole week…month, even…without outside interference. I did spend most of my time studying, like any good medical student should. But I also relished in the ability to hang out with my dog and give him the much-needed attention he has been deprived since I embarked in medicine, listened to countless audiobooks (mostly Harry Potter), and I was able to exercise without caring about how long I was taking. It was a dream.

I was an object in motion.

But now here I am… struggling to get back into motion. Where is that outside force to push me back?

I think I’ve always had that force inside me, but it doesn’t come from myself. That is the power of Christ in me. I think God is continuing to tell me to listen to myself and my body (never mind that He’s forcing me to because I am injured…I’m sure it’ll bring me somewhere great). The one thing that was missing among my time ‘off’ was my eyes on God. I stopped going to church (even though they streamed online). I stopped getting the Daily Bible Verse reminders. I stopped seeking to see God in all of life’s beauty. Why? Because when I stopped, I stopped. I went from full-force into everything to full-force into nothing. I think people might relate to this if I put it this way – if you are on your feet working all day and you need to do something when you get home, what happens if you stop to sit on the couch first to “take a break?” I can tell you what I do – I don’t pick my butt off the couch until my dog whines forcing me to let him outside and then I plop right back down. You see, Newton’s First Law of Motion applies to being stagnant as well.

I think God created Newton’s Laws not only to relate to the physical world, but our spiritual one as well. Sometimes, faith is in motion with great inertia and nothing can stop it…until an outside force pushes it off-course. We go through phases of faith and the path isn’t always an upward trajectory toward the goal, much like everything in life. There are winding roads, ups and downs, and even reverses. A large force from the Holy Spirit is uprooting you from your position and bringing you closer to God. Let it. We are being perfected constantly, even though it may not seem it. One reminder I need often is that I cannot do this alone. I never could. I never will.

2 Corinthians 12:9 – “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I am so, so very weak. But I need to be vulnerable about these weaknesses in order to boast the power of God. I always felt (feel, let’s be honest) like I was the one in control of my motion – this is my fatal flaw – but I am realizing daily it is all part of a bigger plan with a bigger purpose that I cannot see. This pandemic has pushed me off-course, as I am sure many of you feel as well. I think it is important that while this may be off-course in my book, I am not writing the book. I will trust in the process and I will trust in God to push me wherever He needs me to go and I hope you can trust that He is writing your book too.

PSA: please wear a mask to stop the spread of the coronavirus. please.

xx, lauren.